How different are special needs children from their siblings?

This is a tough question to answer because in many ways they are essentially the same while in other ways they are completely different. But raising four small children and with Landon being the oldest does provide us as parents with some unique perspective.

1.  All children have strengths and weaknesses:   We have learned that every child has strong points and areas that they struggle.  A special needs child usually has more areas of weakness that may take years longer to make improvements or may never develop or become proficient like a typical children.  However, a special needs child still has areas that they will be challenged and will learn, grow, develop just like a  typical child yet at the rate of improvement will be very different and expectations must be adjusted appropriately.  Landon was over 8 years old before he was potty trained, which was frustrating and difficult.  Yet, Landon and all children with special needs have unique abilities and characteristics that make them special as well.  One example for Landon is his gift of memorization and ability to communicate and show love toward perfect strangers.   Landon’s siblings ask him to help them remember someone’s name or a detail.  As another example Landon and other special needs children also encourage others towards acts of kindness and mercy and patience well beyond that of a typical child.

2.   Sibling Dynamics are Different with a Special Needs Child:  Another area affected by a special needs child in the family are family dynamics.  That is, the interactions between siblings are different depending on the communication skills of the special needs child.  Landon has a difficult time interacting with other children and prefers speaking and interacting with adults.  That is because an adult usually can better fill in the communication gaps and direct or even ‘carry’ the conversation.   We have noticed extraordinary growth in our own children toward assisting Landon or even redirecting Landon to help him out.  This additional help from a sibling is often at the direction of Mom or Dad but soon they often help Landon physically or in communication on their own accord.  Of course, arguments and disagreements occur between siblings and Landon can and will argue with his siblings!  This falls in line with all families with siblings.