Welcome! Maybe you are reading this because you met our sweet Landon, or maybe someone told you about this site because you have or are going to have a special needs child. I wanted to begin by sharing a little of our story:
No one normally wakes up one morning, and says “I want to give birth to a child with special needs.” For us, we had already had one miscarriage at 13 weeks, followed by an ectopic pregnancy, before conceiving with Landon. He was our first child and we were so excited that we had a healthy pregnancy, only to be devastated with the news when I was twenty weeks along that Landon had hydrocephalus. The specialist that we visited following the initial discovery could not have been more callous and cruel in his words to us. “This really sucks; On a scale from 1-10, this is a 10; and he could even die in the womb” are all statements from the physician. He then continued by telling us that even though we were at twenty weeks and abortions were illegal at this stage in North Carolina, we could travel to Virginia to get an abortion. We were beyond words. We sat in the vehicle of the hospital parking lot and simply cried. We asked “Why us?” Following that visit, we were required to visit a genetic counselor, who felt the need to tell us the worst case scenario and pose the question, “Do you really want to continue this pregnancy, knowing the possible outcome of this fetus?” They were there to convince us the need of an abortion.
God’s Intervention…
My husband and I were both Christians, and believed that since God was the Creator and Sustainer of life, He should be the only one that can end a life. However, as you can imagine, not knowing the future outcome led to an array of fears, scenarios in our heads and unanswered questions. Thankfully, my supervisor at work was a Christian. We immediately went to talk with him following that appointment to explain the situation. He listened to us as we shared our hearts, and prayed for us. We then went home, and my regular ob/gyn called. He said, “Alisha, remember, God doesn’t make mistakes.” That reminded me of Genesis 1:27, where God says that “we are ALL made in the image of Him” and Psalm 139:13,where he tells us that God “created my inmost being;He knit me together in my mother’s womb.” The following day, we met with our church pastor, who encouraged us to take it day by day, trust in the Lord, and know that no one knows the future but the Lord. He suggested us keeping a journal, so I began to write down my prayers, my fears, my desires…
Did I pray that God would heal Landon if it was His will? Of course I did! However, I also prayed that God would prepare me and my husband for whatever challenges laid ahead of us. It hasn’t been an easy road and has been one filled with tears and struggles, but it has also been one filled with much laughter, love, and joy. I often look at Landon and cringe to think what we would have missed out on if we had not continued our pregnancy. Though Landon has impairments and delays, that boy has come so far and has done so much more than what anyone deemed possible. Not only that, Landon has special gifts that God has given him such as an uncanny ability to memorize and remember everything, and perfect pitch when it comes to music. He can imitate the dialect of others and their languages too. (When we are at the park, Landon will meet someone that is Arabic or Hispanic, and always manages to learn a new word!) He truly is a joy, and God has used him in the life of my husband and I as a tool to refine us more into the image of Christ. Only through my relationship with Christ can I obtain the strength, patience, and endurance we need at times when parenting Landon as well as our other children.
Be encouraged…
No one knows the future except the Lord. The doctors may try their best at an educated guess, but they do not know the future. God has a plan, and a purpose for your child’s life. I stress that because Landon walks, talks, attends school, and does so much more that ever anticipated. Was he delayed in crawling and walking? Yes! Did it require hospitalizations and numerous surgeries? Yes. Will Landon continue to have challenges? YES! But, God, in His mercy, will prepare you for the journey with your special needs child. I try not to envision what Landon will be like at 20-30-40…simply because I have no control over that and why worry over something you have no power over? What I can do is do the best I can, one day at a time and appropriately prepare while relying on God. If you have a child or unborn child diagnosed with special needs, know that there is a loving God that loves him/her and He has CHOSEN you for the unique task of caring for that child. Get ready for a special blessing!
Without Landon, I would not meet many, many new people every time I am out (whether I am in the mood or not). Without Landon, I would not be cleaning “snow” in the kitchen floor (a.k.a powdered sugar), vaseline in the carpet, or greeting the county Sheriff at the door from him calling 911. Without Landon, I would not be eating some concoction of spices that he has added to my evening meal….and without Landon, I would not be able to see a genuine love for all people and a little boy full of joy.
